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'[OT]: What makes an engineer (now jokes...)'
2001\04\14@050155 by Bill Westfield

face picon face
Oh, and I guess I have to post this...


 > Comprehending Engineers - Take Ten
 > **************************************************
 > An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called
 > out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful
 > princess.
 >
 > He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
 > The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn
 > me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one
 > week."
 >
 > The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and
 > returned it to the pocket.
 > The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back
 > into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."
 >
 > Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it
 > back into his pocket.
 >
 > Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you
 > I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and
 > do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
 >
 > The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time
 > for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is pretty cool."

("Take 10" comes first cause it's my favorite.  I want a T-shirt that
reads "A talking Frog is pretty cool" - BillW)


 > Comprehending Engineers - Take One
 > **************************************************
 > Two engineering students were walking across campus when
 > one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
 >
 > The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along
 > yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman
 > rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground,
 > took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
 >
 > "The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the
 > clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
 >
 >
 > Comprehending Engineers - Take Two
 > **************************************************
 > To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist,
 > the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is
 > twice as big as it needs to be.
 >
 >
 > Comprehending Engineers-Take Three
 > ***************************************************
 > A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning
 > for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed,
 > "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
 > The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!
 >
 > "The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a
 > word with him." [dramatic pause]
 >
 > "Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're
 > rather slow, aren't they?"
 >
 > The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind
 > firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a
 > fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
 >
 > The group was silent for a moment.
 >
 > The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special
 > prayer for them tonight."
 >
 > The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my
 > ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can
 > do for them."
 >
 > The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
 >
 >
 > Comprehending Engineers-Take Four
 > **************************************************
 > There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all
 > things mechanical After serving his company loyally for over 30
 > years, he happily retired. Several years later the company
 > contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they
 > were having with one of their multimillion dollar machines.
 >
 > They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine
 > to work but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the
 > retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past.
 >
 > The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day
 > studying the huge machine. At the end of the day, he marked a
 > small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and
 > stated, "This is where your problem is".
 >
 > The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again.
 > The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for
 > his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.
 >
 > The engineer responded briefly:
 > One chalk mark $1
 > Knowing where to put it $49,999
 > It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.
 >
 >
 > Comprehending Engineers-Take Five
 > *************************************************
 > What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil
 > Engineers?
 >
 > Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build
 > targets.
 >
 >
 > Comprehending Engineers-Take Six
 > **************************************************
 > The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
 > The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
 > The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it
 > cost?"
 > The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries
 > with that?"
 >
 >
 > Comprehending Engineers-Take Seven
 > *************************************************
 > Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
 > possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a
 > mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
 >
 > Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous
 > system has many thousands of electrical connections."
 >
 > The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would
 > run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
 >
 >
 > Comprehending Engineers-Take Eight
 > *************************************************
 > "Normal people ... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
 > Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
 > features yet."
 > --- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle
 >
 >
 > Comprehending Engineers-Take Nine
 > **************************************************
 > An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether
 > it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
 >
 > The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a
 > solid foundation for an enduring relationship.
 >
 > The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of
 > the passion and mystery he found there.
 >
 > The engineer said, "I like both."
 > "Both?"
 >
 > Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will
 > each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you
 > can go to the lab and get some work done."

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2001\04\15@134513 by Milan Pavlica (YU7AEC)

flavicon
face
part 0 44 bytes
his is a multi-part message in MIME format.
part 1 8890 bytes content-type:text/plain; charset=x-user-defined (decoded 7bit)

Ok this two:

1. Mother had a two sons - one was normal, and second was Electrical Engineer (in
original, was: ...and second one was HAM) :)

2. Mother had a two daughters- one was pretty and cool, second was in
elctrotehnical school...

Is there on iternet to download that kind of jokes (for EEs)??

Milan Pavlica
student of electrotehnical school
Novi Sad, Yugoslavia

William Chops Westfield wrote:

{Quote hidden}


part 2 201 bytes content-type:text/x-vcard; charset=x-user-defined;
(decoded 7bit)

begin:vcard
n:Pavlica;Milan
x-mozilla-html:FALSE
org:SuperSonic Systems
adr:;;;;;;
version:2.1
email;internet:spam_OUTmpavlicaTakeThisOuTspamptt.yu
title:Chief
fn:Milan Pavlica
end:vcard


part 3 136 bytes
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